THIS IS THE REALITY OF COMEDIANS EVERYWHERE!!

If you produce a show, you know this pain.

If you wait to purchase tickets to a show you know you’re going to attend THE DAY OF SAID SHOW, you cause this pain.

Help an improviser out. Purchase your tickets well in advance.

Speaking of which…

Plugs

Cold Cuts Presents: The Big American Improv Show is doing a special 4th of July two hour show at the Free Association in London. Please come! We will have live singers, prizes, a half time show, and of course, improv. All proceeds go to the National Immigration Law Center!

My favorite improv teams are those who you can tell are friends IRL because they have undeniable chemistry. You can just tell they hang out and do other stuff instead of improv (that’s an option, you know). An issue I see in groups like this (and teams in general too) is stepping on each other’s lines.

I am super guilty of this. Because I tend to play with people I genuinely like and have a rapport with, so sometimes scenes devolve into friendly banter full of overlapping crosstalk. We stop doing improv and start doing BITS. I feel this is something to avoid, although 10% of the time, I do like to see it. I guess a balance must be struck, huh?

Ever sit around a table at a pub with a bunch of other improvisers? It’s exhausting. We may as well be screaming at each other “HEY LOOK OVER HERE AT MY THING” and “OH SHIT YOUR THING REMINDS ME OF THIS OTHER THING” and “OMG YOUR THING REMINDS ME OF THAT TOM HANKS MOVIE. I’M GOING TO TALK ABOUT SULLY NOW.” Okay maybe that last one is just restricted to me, but you get what I’m saying. We all have ideas and we all want to get them out and we all want to have fun.

At the end of the day, improv is a performance, so I think there is value in treating it a bit more theatrically. Let your scene partner’s line land. React to what they just said; do a little bit of acting, eh? As a non-actor, this is where my acting advice ends.

Exercises for Practice

There are a couple of ways that you can bring intentionality in speaking and letting lines land into your improv practice. Here are a couple of exercises I have run with some of the guys I teach.

Percentage play

This can be for as many players in a scene as you want. Play around with the percentage of dialogue each person has access to. For example, in a three person scene, person A has 70% of the words in the scene, person B has 25%, and person C has 5%. Change it up and try it with different combinations percentages and number of players. Note how having access to more or less dialogue feels as a player and as an audience member.

Take a beat

Start a two person scene. After each line, both people have to wait ‘one Mississippi’ before speaking again. This allows you to really take in what your scene partner has said. (And YES, it has to be one-Mississippi. No one-Stratford-upon-Avons over here or however you British people keep time).

Note how differently you react after doing this exercise in contrast to how you would react if you didn’t have this constraint.

SHHHHHH

Try running scenes without talking at all. After the scene, ask both participants to discuss what they thought the scene was about and what the relationship between the characters were. Are they similar? Super different?

Hope this helps! xoxo

Plugs

I have a fun new podcast called Amusement Guaranteed with my friend Chris East. Check it out wherever you listen to podcasts. The latest episode features Ryan Gaul and Jeremy Brothers and I think it is very good.

Cold Cuts Presents: The Big American Improv Show is doing a special 4th of July two hour show at the Free Association in London. Please come! We will have live singers, prizes, a half time show, and of course, improv. All proceeds go to the National Immigration Law Center!

I’ve read lots of books this month (brag) so here they are. I wont include my ratings or spoilers here, but you can check out my Goodreads if you want. I’ll try and include an improv lesson in here somewhere (this is an improv blog after all). Okaaayyy lets go!

Drunk on All Your Strange New Words by Eddie Robson

A human translator for an alien species that has made peaceful contact with Earth finds herself embroiled in a murder case. Guess what— she’s a suspect! Very fun world this author has thought up; like if Agatha Christie wrote an episode of Doctor Who (I can only assume because I have never seen an episode of Doctor Who).

Improv takeaway: It would be fun to do a show where cast members speak different languages. Someone do this show.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

This one was a re-read. Obviously— I grew up as a depressed young woman on the east coast. Of course I have consumed everything Sylvia Plath has written.

It was interesting to read this while in a relatively good headspace. This writer meant a lot to me at one time in my life and I don’t resonate with her stuff so much anymore. Huh, life is wild.

Improv takeaway: This one is for rehearsal. Revisiting a scene with a different emotional state could be interesting (or it might not be, who cares).

The Eyes are the Best Part by Monika Kim

A freshman in college becomes obsessed with wanting to eat her mom’s boyfriend’s eyeballs. Really gross, really refreshing, really visceral. Do not read on an empty stomach.

Improv takeaway: A nice ‘hack’ I like to give to students is to pick a character in the scene with you and decide to have a big emotional feeling about them (hate, love, jealousy, etc) and let that drive your actions.

Exalted by Anna Dorn

An astrology influencer becomes obsessed with one of her clients and his chart. Every character in this book sucks (complimentary).

Improv takeaway: Sometimes, a scene just needs an asshole.

Ghosts by Dolly Alderton

Dating sucks, but dating is the least interesting thing about a person.

Improv takeaway: Get comfortable leaving scenes and coming back in later (or not, who cares).

Lost Lambs by Madeline Cash

Like if Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird and Little Women were smushed together. Royal Tenenbaums, eat your heart out.

Improv takeaway: You can always be more annoying.

Julie Chan is Dead by Liann Zhang

A loser steals her influencer twin’s identity after her untimely death. A bit like Marty Supreme for the girlypops.

Improv takeaway: If you don’t think you have an interesting perspective to offer the scene, steal someone else’s (someone from your life, not someone you’re on stage with, you monster).

James by Percival Everett

Huck Finn retold from the perspective of Jim. There’s much less Tom Sawyer in this one which is a huge plus.

Improv takeaway: Everyone is a bit weird. Inject your own weirdness into your improv characters.

Operation Bounce House by Matt Dinniman

Earth people terraform and seed other humans on another planet for agriculture. After a generation, the Earth people decide to be racist to these agriculture planet guys and kill them off in a big video-gamey, internet streamed event. Matt Dinniman absolutely fucks.

Improv takeaway: (This one is mainly for me) I could be cussing way more inventively on stage.

If you got to the end of this, you lost the game.

Love you bye.

Plugs

I have a fun new podcast called Amusement Guaranteed with my friend Chris East. Check it out wherever you listen to podcasts.

Cold Cuts Presents: The Big American Improv Show is doing a special 4th of July two hour show at the Free Association in London. Please come! We will have live singers, prizes, a half time show, and of course, improv. All proceeds go to the National Immigration Law Center!

The Dropout cast were great— they did two shows in one day, both over two hours long with an intermission. It really felt like an ‘event,’ complete with tech and live scoring by Scott Passarella on the keys. The entire show was short form, which was a bit disappointing for a long form geek such as myself, but I had a lot of fun regardless and the crowd was wild for it.

Long story short—I have found a lot of improvisers and fans of long form sh*t on short form as an art form. I have a feeling this attitude is not exclusive to the crowds I run in. This is a pervasive sentiment in the community that comes especially from those that exclusively do long form. In the same way that I think improv school allegiances are stupid, I think pitting long form against short form is an exercise in futility. They should be treated as two different performances that definitely can coexist on the same bill (NOT like standup and improv, which I DO NOT think can coexist on the same night. I have never seen an audience who has wanted to see improv after watching someone deliver a rehearsed, professional set. Stop splitting comedy nights into half standup, half improv I beg you).

(In Obama voice) Let me be clear: long form improv is what I prefer, but short form was my first love. I grew up on Who’s Line is it Anyway. Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles are my spiritual dads. I would tape episodes on VHS and memorize Wayne Brady’s improvised songs and sing them to no one in the shower (how embarrassing).

The immediate buy-in for audience members is the best perk of short form. The host explains the game, performers play the game, audiences laugh. Jokes are immediate, jokes are the point. Audience buy-in for long form is a bit more tenuous. After a host introduces the show, long form is usually never guaranteed to be LOL funny in the first 10 seconds. Trust from the audience is built more slowly. I think the payoff of a long form show is much more satisfying, but you have to depend on an audience that will stay with you until the end.

I think short form deserves a seat at the adult table in the London improv scene. Improv isn’t as popular over here yet as it is back home in America; in order to appeal to more civilians and build a wider audience, an accessible show that regular people will immediately ‘get’ would sell well.

Once we’ve hooked them with short form, then we can reel them in and club them over the heads with long form. It’s the perfect plan!

At the end of the day, aren’t we all just making stuff up and laughing with our friends? It’s really not that serious.

Plugs

Check out my new improv podcast Amusement Guaranteed that I cohost with my friend Chris East. Our latest episode is with Al Donohoe from The Atom Improv in Liverpool.

See Fabled: The Improvised Fantasy Adventure at the Free Association on 12 June!

Cold Cuts Presents: The Big American Improv Show is back at the Free Association on 19th June at 8:30PM. All proceeds go to the NAACP!

I was officially diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) when I was 22 by a psychiatrist. I remember one of the criteria was that anxiety had to have had a negative impact on my day-to-day life for a period of 60 consecutive days or more. I am not totally sure if I am correct in my recollection of this, or if this super specific item on a diagnostic list is even still used, but I do recall detailing how I would leave 20 minutes earlier for work than necessary so that I could keep checking my backpack to make sure my wallet was in there (spoiler alert: it was always in there). Et voila, I was diagnosed!

Nothing really changed after that; I had been on and off anti-depressants since I was 16 and finally found one that sort of works for me (hello Lexapro my old friend). Now, as I enter my thirties (I’m 32; oh so much older and wiser than I was, say, at 27. If you’re reading this and you’re 27, just know that you know nothing), I’m starting to think that maybe my ‘anxiety’ isn’t anxiety after all. Maybe it’s some latent neurodivergence that wasn’t diagnosed properly in my young adulthood. Maybe what I used to think were panic attacks are actually meltdowns caused by sensory or emotional overload. Come to think of it, last time I had a ‘panic attack’ was when I came home from a long day at work and my bed wasn’t made ‘correctly.’ I lay prone hyperventillating on the offending duvet until I recovered enough from my light-headedness to address the corners that were not tucked in properly.

I’ve thought about being assessed for autism or ADHD or one of those other disorders that start with an A, but I don’t have the willingness to spend the extra cash to do so and also, I don’t think my life will change that much. My brain is my brain and I’ve been living with it for 32 wise, old years, so I guess I’ll continue to do so.

Get to the point, Karlie. What about improv?

When people I've known for large chunks of my life hear that I do comedy on the regular, I usually get something like “Don’t you ever get nervous?” Or, if they happen to be family members “But you were such an anxious kid.” When it comes to improv, no, I don’t really get nervous. And yeah, I was an anxious kid. It was hellishly obvious, because for a while in lieu of talking, I would shrug my shoulders up and down as some kind of ill-fated attempt at a bodily version of Morse code.

There are a few observations I’ve made about improv and its relationship to my mental health/illness:

• On stage is the only place where my brain is truly quiet. I’m not sure what this is like because I hate exercising, but I imagine it’s what it’s like when you really get into a good groove or pace when you’re working out. Sure, I’m listening to my scene partner and doing all those things you have to do to do improv, but in my ‘best’ shows, I’m really not thinking about anything. My brain gets to this comfy place where it feels like a marble rattling around in an empty tin can and it feels euphoric.

• I’m up there with friends. This used to feel more crucial when I was newer to performing, but fear of failure is tamped down when you are failing with other people on stage. Bombing doing standup is one thing (I’ve done that loads), but there is an obvious camaraderie in bombing with an improv troupe. We suck! Now let’s go get pizza.

• Nothing is planned. I hear you slamming your laptop shut screaming “no sh*t, Karlie” and shaking your fists at the sky. As someone whose day is ruined when my schedule shifts just ever so slightly, going into an improv show and not knowing what is going to happen is somehow not scary for me. It’s awesome! I think it’s also that no one, not in the audience or on the stage, knows what is going to happen, which is an exciting prospect. We’re all in this together, yada yada yada.

• There are rules. I love a rule. I love a protocol. That’s probably why I’m semi-successful at my day job (scientist). Give me a list of instructions and I will follow them! Improv allows me to flex against a set of guidelines that everyone adheres to on stage (yes and, grounded realities, etc). Improv has also taught me that it’s OK to break these rules sometimes with performers you trust. Breaking the rules is something I would usually never do IRL, but sometimes now I do (don’t call the police, alright?)

  

It feels trite and cheesy to say, but doing improv has overall had a net positive impact on my mental health and has helped me navigate my real life in a more plastic, accepting way. I still have maneuver my way through panic attacks, anxiety spikes, suicidal ideation, and self harm, but I would have to do that anyway if I hadn’t discovered improv. Learning this still has given me tools I can use to better negotiate with my own brain, and for that I am grateful.

🎭 ALL HAIL DEL CLOSE 🎭

I used to make a weekly podcast called Crazy Makers that is no longer available on any platforms because I stopped paying for podcast hosting. I talked to friends and other comedians and performers about mental health and mental illness. I’ve been toying with the idea of bringing it back somehow or maybe releasing old episodes here (you can do that, right? You can do audio stuff on Substack? Idk, I’m 32 and very old but wise). Stay tuned.

If you made it all the way to the end of this article, I love you.

Plugs

Check out my new improv podcast Amusement Guaranteed that I cohost with my friend Chris East. Our latest episode has Connor Ratliff on and it’s pretty good.

Cold Cuts Presents: The Big American Improv Show is back at the Free Association on 19th June at 8:30PM. All proceeds go to the NAACP!

I’m a prolific over-booker. I fill my diary to the max— some weeks I’m busy every day after work and on the weekend. I don’t LIKE doing something every day, so I’m not sure why I do this to myself. I guess, sometimes I think if I have every hour planned, I don’t have to spend much time uncomfortable in my own company. Yikes!

I don’t have anything really profound or important to say in this article. I think resting is good. I think booking gigs is good. I think staying out late can be good. I think going to bed early can be good.

Sometimes, when I’m exhausted and loopy, I do really good improv. Other times, when I’m exhausted and loopy, I do incredibly bad improv. This is all to say, I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t think anyone else does either.

Plugs

Amusement Guaranteed, my new improvised theme park podcast with Chris East, drops tomorrow 1 June!

Heck, I just had the pleasure of performing in a ‘headliner’ show tonight at the London Improv Festival with players from my team Sundae and Suzi Barrett, Ryan Gaul, Connor Ratliff, and Jeremy Brothers (yes I know I dropped all those names, I’m going to pick them up). It was so fun! The audience loved it! Was it the best show I’ve ever done? Absolutely not.

My favorite thing to watch on stage is CHEMISTRY between improvisers. With all-star lineups, it is difficult to establish that repertoire between performers when some of them may be meeting for the first time 15 minutes before showtime. It’s no one’s fault (especially not MINE omg) but there is that special spark missing between players that is so paramount to a really kick-ass improv show.

A plea to audience members

If you count yourself amongst the brave few who love to perform and watch improv, do yourself a favour and get to an indie night. I have seen the best and the worst improv ever at some of these nights. It may be the Baltimore in me, but I think the best place to watch shows, (music, comedy, or otherwise) is a basement. Basements are hard to find in London, but when I find one, oh boy I’m in heaven.

If you are a comedy fan who finds themselves drawn to shows with big names— reevaluate your life choices. Go see the little guys! They’re doing things that are weird, new, bad, and good. Variety is the spice of life.

xoxo bye

Plugs

Sunday 24 May 7PM- Slumber Party at the London Improv Festival

Friday 19 Jun 8:30PM- Cold Cuts Presents: The Big American Improv Show at the Free Association (all proceeds to the NAACP)

Which Theatre is the Best?

^^ LOL all of them and none of them.

I’m on a house team at the Free Association. I am a regular coach and performer at Blanche. I perform at Hoopla whenever they will have me. Because I am enmeshed in all of these scenes, I do get tangled up in conversations about ‘this improv theatre’ versus ‘that improv theatre.’ Listen, I do love to gossip and talk sh*t, but ultimately, I think these discussions are silly.

The attitude of ‘well I perform here, so I can’t perform there’ majorly sucks. Also, it’s not true. There are advantages and drawbacks to each improv theatre just like there are advantages and drawbacks to literally anything that has ever existed. I find a lot of performers ‘identifying’ with a particular London improv school, which I also think is strange. You can learn anywhere, you can get better at your craft anywhere. Some theatres do things better or worse than others. Duh.

We’re All Losers.

It is a normal part of human nature to form groups— in an evolutionary sense it would protect us from sabre tooth tiger attacks in caveman times. Now, forming cliques shields us from having to be the weird kid who eats lunch alone in the cafeteria.

Here’s the thing: as improvisers, we are all the weird kids eating alone in the cafeteria. We all do improv. We all found a niche community where we feel loved and accepted and we are applying dumb schoolyard hierarchy to it because at the end of the day, we’re just people. We all need to notice this, be conscious of it, and do our best to stop it.

I also have come across people thinking they are not cast in or put on stage at one improv theatre because they do a lot of stuff at another improv theatre. Whether this is true or not, I can’t say. What I can say is that if it is true, that is disappointing. What I believe is that none of this stuff is really that personal. The powers that be at any of these theatres are super busy and passionate about their jobs, and they aren’t thinking about the politics of our little improv groups. If I am wrong and they are, then that’s weird and they should feel bad.

A Tale of Two Improv Festivals

As performers and watchers of improv, we are spoiled in May 2026. There are two improv festivals taking place a week apart in our great city: The Free Association’s Big Scene Improv Festival is 13th- 17th May and Blanche’s London Improv Festival is 21st-24th May. In my humble (and often correct) opinion, it is VERY SILLY that the communities could not combine these into one giant festival but hey, we get two weeks of banger international improv. Now, which one am I performing in? Both :)

If you are worried about improv theatre rivalries, you shouldn’t be. My best advice is to keep learning about improv and for chrissakes, BE NICE. If you look down on a particular improv theatre, sort your priorities out, you weirdo. At the end of the day, we’re all just playing make believe with our friends.

Ok love you bye xoxo

Plugs

Saturday 16 May- Cold Cuts at The Big Scene Improv Festival

Thursday 21 May- Sundae with Festival Headliners at The London Improv Festival

Sunday 24 May- Slumber Party at The London Improv Festival

Different Housewives franchises can teach you about different facets of improv and performance. I’m only going to talk about Housewives franchises in this article. If you want to talk about the Amanda and West drama from Summer House, you’ll have to flag me down after one of my shows.

Take a walk with me— I promise it will be worth it.

Dramatic Storylines: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

RHONJ really has it all. This franchise is like if The Sopranos, Sex and the City, and Jersey Shore had a baby named Prost*tution Wh*re. Everyone in the cast seems to be related by blood or marriage, and the lore between the different families on the show runs DEEP. Come for the iconic table flip, and stay for the decades long family drama between Teresa and Melissa.

Adding just one specific juicy detail to your narrative show can really get it to the next level. Something like, oh I don’t know, your new husband wears your dead dad’s pajamas around the house to make your kids feel more at ease (Louie is a sick weirdo iykyk). Oh yeah, and Teresa was the first Housewife to go to jail then go back to being on the show. Iconic.

Play with Status: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

RHOBH is one of the longest running, most popular franchises in the Real Housewives pantheon. It offers a look into the MEGA rich celebrity and celebrity-adjacent lives of some of the wildest looking ladies (botox for breakfast, anyone?) I’ve ever had the pleasure of having on my TV. It is also the source of one of the most prolific memes on my personal mobile phone.

Lots of the RHOBH have butlers, assistants, etc for most of the run. Seeing these normal people interact with their uber wealthy employers is one of the great joys of the series. I have noticed lately that playing with status is an often overlooked aspect of many improv scenes in London. If you’re someone’s boss, you better act like it, dammit!

Be Quick: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

I LOVE RHOA. It may be one of my favorite vintage series of Housewives. Nene Leakes is and will always be that girl.

The cast of the RHOA are known and lauded for their rapid comebacks and pithy reads in literally any situation. Improvisers could learn a thing or two from this. You likely won’t be as adept at quick fire comebacks as Phaedra Parks, but you can incorporate some of her wit into your play. Say the first thing that comes to your mind! Stop thinking so hard. Out with it!

I’ll just leave this here (engrave it on my tombstone):

Mess with your Teammates: The Real Housewives of Potomac

The RHOP are near and dear to me because it is the franchise that is based where I grew up. Sometimes the ladies will go to a restaurant or bar in Bethesda or Baltimore and I get to point at the TV and scream ‘hey I’ve been there!’ Good fun.

Even if they are feuding, the cast of RHOP love to have a good time together. Sometimes they will put their beef to the side for an evening and then go back to being at each other’s throats the next day. Gizelle vs Karen, anyone?

These girls love playing with each other and I wish more teams, especially new teams, brought that to the stage. F*ck around with each other. The thing I love seeing on stage the most is real chemistry between real friends that I can tell love each other. Go get a drink together. Go bowling or something. Bond!

A Flair for the Dramatic: The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

RHOSLC is the newest franchise in the Bravo universe but it is oh so good. I knew we had a banger on our hands when it was revealed to us in S1E1 that Mary Cosby was married to her very own step-grandfather. Consider my popcorn popped- I am ready to go.

Lisa Barlow is one of the most wild people I’ve seen television (complimentary); and I say that knowing she is on the same franchise as Jen Shah, who got arrested by federal police in the Beauty Lab and Lasers parking lot for defrauding elderly people. She overacts whenever possible and it makes the show better!

Overact in your improv scenes. I promise hamming it up can feel crazy to performers on stage but it doesn’t read as too insane from the audience. It can really help solidify a character choice or even to drive game forward.

Be a Good Drunk: The Real Housewives of New York City

I could wax poetic about RHONY for hours and hours, so I will keep this short. Please do keep in mind that the following tip applies ONLY to OG RHONY and not the bullsh*t new reboot. Andy Cohen, you have only made one mistake in your life and that was recasting RHONY.

Call it a personal ick, but I find it a bit cringey when people act high or drunk on stage. It almost never sits right with me and I would not recommend making a habit of it.

THAT BEING SAID…

If you MUST act drunk on stage, please model yourselves after one of the greats: Sonja Morgan, Ramona Singer, or Dorinda Medley. Really, I don’t want to give much away (please for the love of God, watch OG RHONY)- just know that all three of these deranged lunatics are my spiritual mothers.

There are more franchises that I could go on about, but I will stop it here. Maybe I’ll do a part 2 sometime? Would you little piggies like that? More improv Housewives slop for your trough?

Love you xoxo!

Plugs

Check out my friend Luke Healy’s podcast COOP! I’m on the first episode!

Cold Cuts is performing at The Big Scene Improv Festival in London on 16 May! Come see us with our wild friends from LA, Drunk Theater

I’m all for improv ‘hacks’— little moves or adjustments you can make that will make your scenes more compelling to watch.

One hack I like to deploy for myself and the teams I coach is to play with the distance between you and your scene partner. Need to establish a relationship? Standing closer or further away from your scene partner than is societally ‘normal’ is a great way to do this.

X_____X These are coworkers

X_____________X These are coworkers that are competing for the same promotion.

X_X These are coworkers that are best friends

XX These are coworkers that are making out.

Messing around with where you stand on stage relative to your scene partner is also fun way to move the scene forward when the reality is already established. Get specific about the ins and outs of the relationship being established.

Thanks for subscribing!

xoxo,

Improv Gorl

Plugs

Cold Cuts is performing at The Big Scene Improv Festival in London on 16 May! Come see us with our wild friends from LA, Drunk Theater

This type of behavior happens a lot in improv jams and ensemble shows. It is normal to feel defensive and more reserved when you are playing with performers you are not used to playing with.

The ‘Soft Block’

These moves, or rather, non-moves, come from a place of tension and fear most of the time. Say you come on stage with a premise, but your scene partner comes in with something ‘shinier.’ Ugh, now we have to do their ‘thing’ instead of mine. This is a soft block; in the London scene, it is ‘polite’ to let the person who first stepped on stage to be the ‘premise-giver’ in a premise-driven show. (In my opinion, this has turned into a hard rule in the London improv scene and I am not vibing with it. More on that in another article probably).

I’m a control-freak, so moves like these can feel really bizarre and bad. It’s really easy for me to make up a story in my head about how the person feels about me as a person and not a performer when it happens. Do they think I’m a bad improviser? Did they think I was taking too long with my initiation? As a person with an anxiety disorder, I’ve been therapized enough to challenge these thoughts. No one is ever thinking of you as much as you think of you. This is ESPECIALLY true in something as trivial (complimentary) as a improv show.

The ‘Hard Block’

The more sinister, creepier cousin of the ‘soft block’ is the ‘hard block.’ This happens when your scene partner straight up nos your offer.

Person A: I just love coming to this beach!

Person B: We aren’t on a beach.

Person A: glitches out

This obviously SUCKS and is BAD IMPROV. Don’t be person B!

HOWEVER…

You shouldn’t feel super defeated as person A! Your scene partner has just broken the cardinal rule of improv. You now have my permission, as a performer with a substack with 82 subscribers (hey, thanks for following, guys!) to fuck around.

Person A: I just love coming to this beach!

Person B: We aren’t on a beach.

Person A: Todd, you know I like to refer to ‘the office’ as ‘the beach’ because it helps me get through the winter. Now, I need those reports on my desk by 10.

See? Now person’s B offer isn’t a block, you as the magical person A have transmuted it into an incredible piece of story telling! We now have a setting, a relationship, and status established. You did it! Now we can do an improv scene!

Play every scene like the improvisers you are on stage with are the best in the biz. Any offer, even ones that are ‘blocks’ are still offers that should be played.

Got one annoying guy that won’t let you get a word in? Make it a character choice. Endow him by saying “man you talk so much!” You have strengthened the scene by making it all look like he is doing it on purpose.

Another tip for guys (and sorry guys, it usually IS a guy) who talk too much: do object work. This will almost always get the audience to pull focus from the chatty dude to focus on what you are doing. Letting it go on for longer than feels ‘good’ is nearly guaranteed to get laughs too.

Anyway, after reading this, you will only do perfect improv from now on. You’re welcome!

Plugs

Cold Cuts is performing at The Big Scene Improv Festival in London on 16 May! Come see us with our wild friends from LA, Drunk Theater

My male scene partner well-meaningly says ‘hey babe, how was work?’

Cool, I’m in another husband/wife scene. If I had been a more seasoned improviser at the time, perhaps I could have found a way to be a stoner, ollie-loving wife. I was still green, still not totally comfortable in myself as a human person let alone an improviser, so I dropped my thing and did the boring dinner with straight married people scene.

It was probably fine. I don’t remember. Which means it wasn’t bad enough to be seared into my frontal lobe but wasn’t good enough to maladaptive daydream about in the shower later that night.

Gasp! Does the same sexism and misogyny that poisons normal every day life for us all exist on the sacred improv stage? It does. And you should think about it every now and then.

Endow ladies as gentleman. Endow gentlemen as ladies. Husbands and wives are boring. Let’s do a different relationship sometimes.

I’ve run out of steam on this topic for the time being. MARK MY WORDS: it will be revisited.

Plugs:

Come to COLD CUT PRESENTS: THE BIG AMERICAN IMPROV SHOW at the Free Association TOMORROW (30 April) at 7PM. All proceeds will go to the ACLU!

bye ily

You can't (and shouldn’t) start running around turning people into toads. With great power comes great responsibility! New York needs Spiderman! Ugh, I’m mixing my metaphors. Anyway…

Improv should not be your only ‘thing’

When you get into improv, it comes with a whole community too. This is nice! Built-in friends! I have settled comfortably into the London improv community. There are loads of like-mind people, events to go to, classes and workshops to take. I know this comparison has likely been drawn before, but the improv community functions a bit like church. Regular events, fundraisers, and a congregation that believes in the same tenants you do. Amen!

I find it irritating when people make one of their interests their whole ‘thing’. When every conversation I have with you revolves around Jesus or church, I’m just not going to build a deeper connection with you. I don’t have a problem with religion in general— talk to me about it sometimes, sure. I just think you should diversify your interests.

The same goes with improv; we all know those people who eat, sleep, and breathe the stuff. I get it— I love it too, but it is not the only thing I’m engaged in. It may be hard to believe, but I am interested in people beyond their love of improv. What else do you like to do? Are your parents divorced? Where did you get dinner? These are all questions that I, an extremely normal person, will ask.

A diamond with one facet, well, sucks. Bevel your edges, bitch. Get sparkling.

Get a life!

Seriously, get a life. It will make your improv better. I promise. Go entire days without thinking about, consuming, or performing comedy. I swear, it will make you a more interesting person and a sharper performer. You might think “but Karlie, I can watch some Dropout when I get home, surely?” NO. Read a book. Watch a movie. Crochet. (This is not a condemnation of Dropout. I love Dropout. Dropout— hire me please!).

I consume content like Kirby consumes, well, anything. Books, TV, movies, music, podcasts. Find what you like and get started.

I like reading lit fic and fantasy. I watch as much prestige TV as possible. I try to go to as much live music as my wallet will allow. I play video games. I like to travel.

Okay, now this just sounds like a boring man’s dating profile. Maybe my love for consuming content comes from not being super depressed anymore. There’s so much good stuff out there, and I want to experience it all.

Living a richer, more experienced life WILL make you a better improviser. Stretch yourself. Try new things. Read a book you think you might find difficult or boring. Broaden your horizons, experience things from other peoples’ points of view. Be a Kirby in a world of Marios (huh?).

ok love you bye.

Plugs

I like to log what I’ve read/watched. Follow me on Goodreads and Letterboxd!

COLD CUTS PRESENTS: THE BIG AMERICAN IMPROV SHOW- Thursday 30 April 7PM @ The Free Association (Southwark)

We sold out our new American all-star improv show last month at The Glitch. Come join us for another hour of corn-fed improv at The Free Association. All proceeds go to the ACLU.

Maybe in the future, I’ll write an article about how grateful I am that the comedy community in London gave me a soft place to land in a new country. I met my best friends through the improv scene here and still spend my weekends and evenings toiling on stage and off with all you weird people. I love it!

If you didn’t already know (how could you not), I’m American. If you have seen me perform recently, you know that I can do flawless British regional accents, but can you believe there was a time where I couldn’t understand a word you people were saying? Eye contact is key in improv, but for the first few years, I was making eye-to-mouth contact just to ensure I could pick up everything that was being said.

When people first get into doing comedy, a lot of it is referential. You say what you know; you emulate comics that you like. It makes sense to do this before finding your own style. You know when we were in elementary school and we communicated through Jim Carey faces and screaming the Anchorman script back and forth at each other? It’s kind of like that.

My references did (and still do) fall upon British ears that are not steeped in Americana. In a recent Slumber Party show, I went on a diatribe about I Love Lucy and Rosie didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. The best way to play along in a show when someone goes deep into a topic you know nothing about IRL is to go DEEPER than they do. Feign confidence, make shit up. The more wrong you are, the funnier.

I do feel isolated still at times when I am the only immigrant on stage— EVEN THOUGH I AM BRITISH NOW (I’ve got the passport to prove it). Here is a non-exhaustive list of British-isms that have been mentioned to me on stage and I had no idea what they were:

• Mr. Blobby

• The Bayeux Tapestry

• Little Chef

• Prince Andrew (I know about this one now)

• The Knowledge

Being an immigrant is weird— even moving to the country that MY country stole all its stuff from is hard. I can’t imagine how my Oma and Opa did it in the 50s. I remember I was so afraid to tell them I was going to move to the UK to be with Dan. Once I did, my Oma told me “do what you need to do. We left Germany because of war, it’s nice you get to move to England for love.” She then told me I “wasted my talent” because I didn’t play piano anymore and that I looked “very pale”. My Oma was a complicated woman! I miss her!

I find British improv in general more timid and more apologetic than American improv. We can both learn from each other— maybe I don’t need to enter every scene screaming and kicking down a door, but maybe you don’t need to shyly walk onstage and ask for permission to speak. Maybe you don’t need to make a cup of tea whenever there’s dead air. Let it hang for a second. Maybe then I’ll run in and fire a gun.

Plugs

All that being said, this article is just a big advertisement for COLD CUTS PRESENTS: THE BIG AMERICAN IMPROV SHOW on April 30th at the Free Association. Our last show in March was INCREDIBLE and I felt so, dare I say, FREE on stage with my band of North Americans. Daniel Kvoras and I have worked so hard to put this show together and it’s such a joy to share a space with such incredible performers. Last month, we raised $1030 for the National Immigrant Justice Fund (through the NILC) and in April, we are donating all proceeds to the ACLU.

You can watch a Cold Cuts’ twoprov set here! Cold Cuts @ Free Association Cage Match 2025

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in London improv over the past year or two. Now that the scene has been well established for more than a decade, I've feel like I’ve seen improvisers across the city do an impression of improv, rather than improv itself.

What do I mean? It’s a bit hard to explain, but I’ve seen loads of people doing a facsimile of improv they have seen before rather than their own thing. Premise, game 75% commitment. I’m getting bored (sorry if you think I’m sort of a bitch for this opinion. Obviously there’s loads of talented very good improvisers around that have their own style and swag. If you think this is about you, MAYBE IT IS).

I love going to a show and seeing improvisers you can automatically point to and say “oh, I get their whole deal.” I want to see players be the freakiest version of themselves on stage. My brain and eyes and ears have been so saturated with C+ improv shows that I yearn for something weird and shocking.

Maybe that thing is happening to my brain where people watch way too much porn, so then they have to watch weirder and weirder stuff to get their kicks. My tolerance for normal improv is too high. I need the improv version of hentai to get off (comedically).

All kidding aside, maybe performers don’t feel encouraged to be themselves on stage. Of course, in a show, we are putting on some sort of persona. Improv is both more and less vulnerable than, let’s say, standup. In standup, you are presenting the audience a written version of yourself; you can disclose as much or as little of the ‘real you’ as you like. With improv, we are rarely being our authentic selves on stage, but everything is made up— it’s high risk!

I want performers to bring more of themselves into the shows I see across London. I KNOW you guys are little freaks with weird point of views, because I hang out with you all. Get raw on stage! Do that weird voice I know you can do! Show me your version of hentai!

I feel most myself on stage with people I am comfortable with. My team Slumber Party is full of my best friends in London. We each have our own distinctive voice, and when we are together, it really doesn’t matter to us that an audience is there. We are hanging out, staying glamorous, and silencing the haters. It’s just a plus that there are people clapping and laughing at us while we do it.

I was recently at a House Night at the Free Association and I saw the incredible Alex Smith of the Harold team Sweethart come into a scene as a trouble-causing, precocious kid of the on-stage couple. In the FIRST BEAT, Alex became possessed and completely turned herself upside to reverse crab walk like a little demon sicko kid. It was so cool, so unexpected, and such a nasty little surprise.

I want to see more improv Id on display in London. Find out what you do best and keep doing it! I guess this goes hand in hand with really knowing yourself. I am turning 32 this weekend, and I finally feel like I know and also LIKE myself. As a life-long self hater, this is huge for me. Take yourself on a date! Write! Go to therapy! Look at yourself in the mirror! Hang out with yourself, and I promise the rest will follow.

Plugs

Fabled: The Improvised Fantasy Adventure Friday 17 April at the Free Association (also come see us at EDINBURGH FRINGE)

COLD CUTS PRESENTS: THE BIG AMERICAN IMPROV SHOW- Thursday 30 April 7PM @ The Free Association (Southwark)

We sold out our new American all-star improv show last month at The Glitch. Come join us for another hour of corn-fed improv at The Free Association. All proceeds go to the ACLU.

TY BYEE!

Narrative improv is becoming more and more popular in the London scene. With a new narrative curriculum being offered at The Free Association, more and more green improvisers are wetting their feet in the plot pool. Watching narrative improv is magic, and Londoners are especially spoiled with incredible shows like Austentatious that have a foothold in the West End and have gained popularity with civilians (people who aren’t improv obsessives like me). When we watch shows like this as improvisers, it’s really easy to go ‘hey, I want to do that.’

So, you’re new to improv. You’ve done your foundational classes, and narrative improv seems cool and fun and you love to tell stories, so why not try it? At the risk of sounding like an luddite, I think new improvisers should continue to drill game until it is etched into their bones. Okay, it’s not necessarily super fun, but I think there is a healthy amount knowledge and experience to be gained through suffering the frustration of learning game and most importantly BEING BAD AT IT. There is something crucial about being able to pull premises from a monologue that narrative improv won’t necessarily teach you. I promise, this isn’t a “I had to suffer, so you should too” kind of opinion (mostly).

I disagree that after taking foundational improv courses you can go straight into learning a narrative format. The improv muscles are not built yet! We are still thinking about breathing and not just breathing autonomically. There is room for growth in the agony! Drilling game and premise builds the foundation for a proficient improviser. It is not until we master these skills that we can fully participate in a narrative form (or, at least participate in any way that is meaningfully ‘good.’)

Ugh, the Harold is actually relevant.

This is why I think the Harold is so important (See? I can hate the Harold and still think it’s crucial. Stay tuned for an article about how I’ve never been put on a Harold team and feel totally cool and fine about it). The Harold gives you a handy toolbox so that you can do any other kind of improv show.

Callbacks? Harold.

Initiations? Harold.

Heightening? Harold.

Tags? Harold.

You could argue that second and third beats also subtly introduce plot moves into an improviser’s repertoire. Premise initiations are inciting incidents. Character games are plot devices.

All is this to say that I’ve seen a trend in more and more indie teams trying narrative out. Trying a new thing is cool and awesome and admirable, but my big hang-up is that in a lot of these sets that I’ve seen, the players look like they’re not having fun. Sure, new teams will have growing pains, but this feels different than seeing a new team at Harold Night. I’ve seen (and yes, been in) loads of narrative shows where improvisers are focusing more on plot than on game. A plot-heavy show is rarely fun or even worth it. It feels heavy and arduous to be in a show like that. If you do it right and pull a narrative show off, plot will follow game, not the other way around.

Until recently, there hasn’t been a way in London to do regular shows at an improv theatre to drill the narrative form (shoutout to my Free Association house narrative team, Tome). That’s all changing with House Night at the Free Association, where Harold, Narrative, and soon Organic house teams come together for a weekly show.

So, really, what do I know?

Now, time to plug all my narrative shows LOL

Dicks: The Improvised Noir

Tome: The Free Association Narrative House Team (come see us Sunday 19 April at The Free Association)

Fabled: The Improvised Fantasy Adventure (come see us at EDINBURGH FRINGE)

I used to struggle with dressing for the stage. When I do comedy, I prefer my body to not even be part of the audience’s perception. This is because I am a control-freak. I now understand, through many years of therapy, that no matter how hard I try to control what other people think, they’ll always end up doing their own thing. Annoying, but sadly our reality. When I become a powerful, corporeal, glowing rectangle, this will all change.

I started dressing for performance in what I was comfortable in, and not what I thought would read as ‘normal’ or ‘plain’ in the audience’s eyes.

Karlie’s Comedy Uniform

1. Big Pants- Big, comfy pants are important to me. I need full range of movement. I do not want to be thinking on stage about how my legs will look if I end up rolling around or wiggling my but (it’s bound to happen). Big pants can be a loud print, or a solid color. I realized that doesn’t really factor in.

2. Shirt my boobs feel OK in- Listen, as a she/they with a big chest, I don’t love to show it off. If I can ‘feel’ my boobs in my outfit on stage, I’m not focusing on the performance. I don’t really have a specific cut/style that I like, I just know when I try on a shirt whether it will be a performance shirt or not. When I become a big, powerful, shiny rectangle president, I’ll let you interface with my neural network so that I can better explain it through feeling and synapse instead of words.

3. Comfy shoes- Ideally with laces, although I recently got these Doc Marten clogs I’ve been liking lately.

4. Makeup- I’m not a huge makeup person, but I have noticed that I feel more confident when I use concealer under my eyes and have a little blush and a lip while on stage. You Wanna Be On Top?!?!

5. Hair- It’s most important for me that my hair is out of my face. I used to think this meant that all of it had to be up (I have a lot of hair), but really it just means the bits in the front. If I have hair in my eyes, I get overstimulated and pissed off.

6. Glasses- I’m not one of those people who needs glasses doesn’t wear them. My vision isn’t even that bad, but if I can’t see properly, I sort of freak out. Glasses are a must. I perform with contacts in like twice a year.

So, there you go, my fashion secrets. I expect Vogue to be calling any moment.

Love,

Your Big Beautiful Rectangular Wife

PLUGS

COLD CUTS PRESENTS: THE BIG AMERICAN IMPROV SHOW- Thursday 30 April 7PM @ The Free Association (Southwark)

We sold out our new American all-star improv show last month at The Glitch. Come join us for another hour of corn-fed improv at The Free Association. All proceeds go to the ACLU.

Hi, I’m Karlie. I’m from Maryland, USA but I’ve lived in London, UK for nearly 7 years. I moved here and immediately jumped into the London improv scene, and then almost as immediately jumped out because of COVID19 (Remember that? Me neither). Now, I’m fully re-immersed, for better or for worse.

I’m planning on sticking improv, comedy, performance thoughts here. If you’d like to follow along so I’m not just dumping into the void, that would be cool.

Anyway, here’s a picture of me next to a really big gumball machine.

Bye!